Dear Allie, My friend is going through serious depression and I’m trying to help her by talking to her and writing her problems and emotions in a notebook, then looking them up. She says I’m helping but our other friend doesn’t think so and says I can’t help, and the only person that can help is her real therapist. But my depressed friend hates her therapist and says I’m the only one who she can talk to. Our other friend is upset with us now and refuses to talk to us. So I need advice for 2 things: how do I help my friend with her depression and how do I make our other friend talk to us again? Please help.
Hello! I am glad you are supporting your friend. Depression can be a very painful condition and difficult to address. The more support someone has the better.
I also think that your other friend has a point because it is serious and it is a good idea to have it treated by a helping professional.
My suggestion is for you to encourage your friend to tell her parents/guardian that she is not connecting with her therapist and she does not feel helped. I think a lot of people believe that because they have an assigned therapist, that is the only choice. That is not true. I believe strongly that client and therapist need to be matched according to philosophy and personality. Choosing one based on insurance, does not always create a good match. If you want to help your friend have this conversation with her parents/guardian, you can offer to go with her to talk to them. You can tell them what I said about therapist matches.
As for making up with your friend, I suggest that you decide what is important to you. If having her be your friend is important, then consider telling her that you are sorry and that you know she was trying to help. If she won’t answer you, then she may need some time but at least you tried.
Good Luck! I hope your friend gets the help she deserves!