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Why doesn’t my boyfriend want anyone to know we are dating? It’s not like he’s in the closet. I asked him and he just said it’s private.
Categories: Dating

Why doesn’t my boyfriend want anyone to know we are dating? It’s not like he’s in the closet. I asked him and he just said it’s private.

I am so sorry. When I am dating someone, I want to be able to share it with everyone! I want to go out with my partner and our friends and not have to be secretive about it.

I don’t know your boyfriend, so it could very well be that he is just that private of a person and he is telling the truth. What is his dating history like? Did he share he was dating other partners in the past? If he has told friends about his past relationships, there could be other reasons he wants to keep this to himself.

There are a lot of reasons he may want to keep your relationship private-some of them sinister.

Instead of making a list and freaking you out, I am going to suggest to you that there is no cookie cutter way a relationship has to be. If you two want to keep your partnership under wraps, that is up to you. In healthy relationships, decisions that directly affect the relationship are made by both partners. If you want to share your romance with friends and family, you have a right to do so. He is also under no obligation to share with anyone. If he doesn’t want to tell people, he does not have to.

Before you start shouting from the rooftops, sit down with him and explain you want to tell people about your relationship and that you plan to. Try to reach a compromise. A good compromise would be that you get to tell your closest family and friends and that you will not announce it on Facebook.

If he will not back down and insists you do not tell anyone, this is a warning sign and you seriously need to reconsider the relationship. Not allowing a partner to express his/her feelings is abusive. Everyone needs support or, at the very least, a cheerleader, when he/she is in a relationship.  Telling a partner what he/she can and cannot say about a relationship is controlling behavior.  You may need to end the relationship and find someone who will shout it from the rooftops you are their partner!

I hope this all works out!

Take Care!
Allie

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