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I’m bisexual but I have never been with a girl. A lot of people think I am not…
Categories: Coming Out

I’m bisexual. I’m almost positive but I have never been with a girl (I’m a girl) and a lot of people think that means I’m not bi or that I don’t actually know. I’m not sure what to do. Am I actually bi? And if I am, how do I show people that I actually am?

Hi! I am sorry you are not being believed and it is starting to confuse you. That has got to be frustrating!

Despite popular belief, you do not have to “prove” your orientation by engaging in a sexual or romantic relationship in order to identify as bisexual. And asking someone to do so in order to prove who they say they are is who they actually are is a bit abusive.

The majority of people who identify as bisexual would probably tell you that they can see themselves having a romantic and/or sexual relationship with a male or a female. Certainly there are variations of how people experience love and sexual relationships and you have every right to determine what feels right to you and how you wish to identify yourself. No one but you can know what you experience and how you feel.

The message I really want you to understand is that you should be allowed to identify how you want, experience love however feels good to you, and when someone tells you how to label yourself, you can tell them “it’s none of your business”. And then make it none of yours to figure out how they should label themselves.

We are all unique and love and sex are fluid. If you teach yourself to accept and celebrate the differences, then you may see how profoundly sad it is when we try to box each other in.

Enjoy who you are, because you deserve to be you!

Hugs,
Allie

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