I hate going to school because people call me faggot, slut, whore, and accuse me of having sex with children. I don’t want to go back but I want to graduate. What should I do?

First, I want to say that I am very sorry that this is happening to you and that you do not deserve to be treated this way. Nobody does!

It sounds like you are being bullied. Bullying is essentially one person who wants more power in his or her life using negative, manipulative, and often violent behaviors to gain control over another person. Think of it as a form of domestic violence. Only that it is happening at school.

I can tell you that I have been bullied in my life and about 86% of students in school right now have admitted to being bullied. I would imagine that if you asked most of the adults in your life whether or not they have been bullied, they would tell you that they have too.

So what can you do about it?

Audre Lorde once said “When you speak you can fly”. You have to start talking about it. Tell your parents (you don’t have to tell them your sexual orientation), tell your teachers, tell the principal, tell your friends, tell someone you trust and keep telling until someone listens. Sometimes adults will minimize your feelings and not take you seriously. That is why it is important to keep telling. Your feelings are valid and what is happening is real. Just because one adult doesn’t know what to do, it doesn’t mean all adults don’t know.

Telling also has the ability to give you some of that power back. When you talk about things that bother you, you release some of the negative feelings.

When it is happening though, here are some ideas about what you can do:

• When you see your bully coming, go the other way as calmly and naturally as you can.
• Surround yourself with your friends when in the hallways and when outside of the school.
• Remain calm when you are approached. Tell the bully that you are not interested in listening to him or her on this day and that you understand that they don’t like you. Case closed.
• Don’t give the bully super-human powers. They are a human just like you.
• Write down every time you are bullied. Include the date, time, who is doing the bullying, what they did, what you did, and did you tell. This will give you a clear picture of what is happening to share with the adults in charge of helping you.
• If physical bullying starts and is accompanied by racial, ethnic, gay, religious, gender or disability slurs, you and your parents may want to consider calling the police and filing an official report. It may be considered a hate crime.

Click image to see GLSEN's resources for Students.

So how do you take care of yourself?

• Remind yourself that you are a good person and not what bullies try to hurt you with.
• Use good coping skills like reading, baking, drawing, singing, poetry, exercise, etc.
• Talk about your feelings and how this is affecting you. You can even leave a comment here about it.
• Find a group that is supportive of you like a Gay Straight Alliance.
• Remind yourself that nothing lasts forever and that you can make it.
• Keep a journal.
• Get involved in the community around you through volunteerism.

If you are in immediate danger, please contact the police and then your parent or guardian. Your safety is important! You are important and loved!