I will always answer ‘No’ to hitting, smacking, punching, kicking, stabbing, biting, shooting-well, you get the picture-etc.

I understand that sometimes the things that our relatives do best is push buttons, especially if we have a lot of them. It is up to you to decide how serious those buttons being pushed are.

Is she making fun of you in a mean-spirited manner to hurt your feelings? Is she picking on you to passively-aggressively tell you that she doesn’t like something you do? Or is she just poking fun because something you do is funny?

To decide the answer to the questions, you have to look at what is happening when it happens. If she is being mean-spirited and is out to hurt your feelings, it is probably when a verbal fight is happening or about to start. If it is passive-aggressive, the making fun usually will happen when the action is happening. If it is in good fun, it will be when everyone is relaxed and having a nice time.

Someone is being passive-aggressive when they try to tell you something they don’t like without coming right out and saying it. Often times it is in a ‘round about way. Maybe you are doing something she doesn’t like but she is not comfortable in confronting you about it.

How you react to what they are doing is up to you. If it hurts your feelings or makes you feel uncomfortable, it is up to you to address this with your family member. When the two of you are not around other people and it is not happening, calmly say “I don’t care for it when you make fun of me because it hurts my feelings and embarrasses me.”

If you do not feel safe speaking to that family member or addressing the issue, either don’t or speak to a trusted adult about your feelings. Just realize that if they are being mean spirited, it is about them and not you. You’re wonderful!

If you feel it was more in fun and you are in a safe environment, find something about them that is a trait you can over-exaggerate next time they are picking on you.

Say no to smacking!

Allie